fire sale

May. 15th, 2015 10:55 am
dancinbutterfly: (Default)
If you want something of mine that's bandom, now is the time. I'll be deleting/locking down basically everything to re-purpose it as You have 48hrs to DL the stuff you like and then things are going away. You can rest assured that anything under 10K will stay and so will Prison but I Know This Hurts aka Cinderdom is next on the list and I dont want anyone to lose it and be sad. So. Here we go kids.

*claps* Or you could just wait and buy it?

oh

Jul. 31st, 2014 02:03 pm
dancinbutterfly: (Farscape - Save Me -John)
So. Yesterday the field director knocked me from full time to part time student because I made the mistake of disclosing my disabilities to the School of Social Work. And I missed the Monumentour because of all that was involved in this mess. And the M&G. I'm going sit here and sob for awhile. Don't mind me.

How do I keep missing FOB you guys? How?

Also, did i mention I got knocked from full to part time. I just. Not enough weed or sleep in the world to make up for this.
dancinbutterfly: (Default)
So here I am again, at the Richard Walker Pancake House in SD, CA. Its my bandomversary. I got to see FOB this year thanks to a wonderful friend but it was lonely and hard. The music still gets me. The people are still there although not as many, and those who are distant I miss.Even so. That's something.
dancinbutterfly: (Hunger Games - Salute)
Title: 112th Annual Hunger Games
Fandom: Bandom/Hunger Games fusion
Pairing: Pete/Patrick, Frank/Gerard, idek Panic! boys mix'n'match
Warnings: Hunger Games typical violence, drug use, body modification, death and all the other fascist Capitol stuff.
Note: posting it because why not. i have a hundred pages of this verse and thats enough to share.
Rating: NC-17
For:[profile] jankato and everyone who said something nice to me yesterday
Summary: From District 10, Tributes Patrick Stumph(18) and Bebe Rexha(13). May the Odds Be Ever In Their Favor.

Or

Patrick doesn't want to fight but growing up in the cattle/butchery center of District 10 did give him a few skills. He's one of the lucky few with a talent to perform in the Opening Ceremonies required musical pageantry so he will do that too. He will let them groom him and fluff him and do whatever they need to because Patrick wants to live damn it. He wants to live.

Chapter 1: Hat Day at Wrigley Field
dancinbutterfly: (FOB - Mikey/Pete)
So, Aunt J totally broke my Fall Out Boy curse when I was in DC. IDK if I mentioned it but I had TERRIBLE luck seeing them which I told her about and she was like COME WE SHALL FIX THIS! and we did because Aunt J is the best J. However, they are coming back to Atlanta this summer. YAAAAAY! With Paramore(so unimpressed. I'm bringing my Nook - so serious). However after I saw them in DC I joined Overcast Kids which means I actually got presale tickets and was able to grab tix to the meet&greet thing. FINALLY! CHECKING THE LAST OF THE BOYS OFF THE LIST!

When this is complete, I will have met all of the bandom boys except Bob Bryar including Cobra(but not including Bill Beckett). Yeah. But mostly - FULL FALL OUT BOY CONCERT. OUTSIDE IN THE CRAZY. THREE DAYS AFTER SDCC. OH ITS GONNA BE ON.



Still got a lot of spots open for topics for the Talking Meme for February. You can find it here. Personal, political, musical, literal, fandom, opinion, familial, sexual, object-related, whatever else - ask. There is much space! Use it please please?

Love

Mar. 24th, 2013 04:36 am
dancinbutterfly: (FOB - Mikey/Pete)
Some motherfucker thought it would be okay to plagerize my fic You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison. If you've known me since 2010 or before, you probably know how much of me and my early depression went into that story and the sequels because you were around for the process. If you knew me after, you know how proud I am of it because it changed what I thought I was capable of. It's one of the boldest, scariest, best things I've done in bandom and in my writing in general and that piece of shit thought it was okay to Find+Replace the names and turn it into a Supernatural fic that didnt even make sense.

It was heartbreaking and infuriating not just to me but to the women who held my hand and spent hours at five a clock in the morning and one in the afternoon talking with me about the process and listening to me bitch and letting me spam them. It's a podfic project now. I'm working on another sequel fic for someone as a part of the car-auction payments. To say this story is a huge part of my life is an understatement and it was violated.

Bottom line? Not okay.

What was amazing is that you guys came out of the woodwork for me. From people I've never seen around bandom before, let alone me, my journal and my fic to people I've known since the beginning of my baby bandom days - came out to get my back, spread the word of what happened and come to my defense. The stolen version was off AO3 before I got home from work because of you guys. Twitter spread it, the work itself was flooded with comment, the stop-plagerism com had a post, and it even got mentioned on tumblr. I didn't even have make a post of my own about it because other people in bandom did it for me, and then signal boosted it.

I was wounded and all of you amazing people came to my aid. You guys protected me. You fought for me. You took care of me. You loved me.

I spend 90% of my time here in Georgia alone except for my mom and her boyfriend. I sometimes feel like I dont have any real friends because of that and then something like this happens and I remember, yes I fucking do. I have amazing beautiful loving friends all over the planet who will go to bat for me in a literal minute. Just because I cant go to the movies with you or out to dinner doesnt change that.

I say this a little more than twenty-four hours after we lost one of our big three, my personal true love in My Chemical Romance ending, but I am so fucking grateful. I'm so grateful through my devastation at this loss because thanks to knowing them I get to know all you and nothing is more valuable to me than that. Not even the music.

So mostly, I wanted to say thank you and holy shit do I love you guys back. I love you so much that sometimes it makes me cry a little. Or a lot. Thank you all for being you. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for reminding me that there's a world of people who care about me, even if you are scattered and sometimes digital. Prisonverse and what happened means a lot to me. What you guys did for me and what that says means so much more.

FIC NOTICE!

Mar. 1st, 2013 06:34 pm
dancinbutterfly: (Hunger Games - Let the Games Begin)
I am locking down Sweetbreads and Sweet Nothings as I, uh, kinda wanna try and turn it into a full blown horror novel and it needs to not be on the internet as it is, especially since I'm going to do a huge overhaul anyway. I'm leaving it up for 24 hours so you can grab a copy if you like it. It's here on DW and LJ and on AO3.

HOWEVER!!! If you copy it to you HD, it needs to not show up on the internet EVER AGAIN. It's my intellectual property - there are countless people here who can back me up on this fact including the fact that I will not be deleting the page itself just making it so only I can access it - so if it shows up, yeah. Exactly. Sorry for the short notice but my week has been fucked up and broken and I'm making serious decisions. I dont regret them at all but I mean them ALL.
dancinbutterfly: (Hunger Games - Salute)
Sometimes I think about Dolores and am just...stunned she's not in the world anymore. It's been just over 5 months. I just keep having these times when I'm blindsided by how deeply I'm effected. It knocks the wind out of me - what she did, how angry I am, how heartbroken, how bereft. I look at my family and wonder if they're okay - if they're feeling like I am, like something's been hollowed out and scraped away. I dont know. It's hard to tell to be frank. My mom doesnt talk much about her and my bio sister and I talk so rarely I cant even begin to guess.

I think part of it is the fact that My Chemical Romance's new tracks were leaked. Boy Divison and Tomorrow's Money has NOTHING to do with her but those boys, that band - they remind me that I can feel, that I DO feel. Releasing something new reminds me that they exist, that they're real and solid and for some reason it brings into shocking contrast that Dolores DOESNT anymore. I love My Chemical Romance even more for this. I really do.

I ache. I cry. But goddamnit I can feel this pain. A year ago, when I was in the hospital - I was so sick that I COULDNT feel. Now I can and I'm so grateful for that. I can't really articulate how much.
dancinbutterfly: (Killjoys - Wanted)
So, this is my third year bandom anniversary. It's not the exact day but back in 2009, the Monday after Comiccon I read my first MCR fanfic sitting at the Richard Walker Pancake House in San Diego California and my life started to change. It's the monday after ComicCon and once again, I'm in the Richard Walker Pancake House, taking stock of the year and listening to bandom.

You guys have no idea how big an impact this fandom had on me this year. The friends I made through this fandom held me up through some of the worst times of my life. The MCR and PATD concerts and the music. The music you guys.

In October, I ended up on a locked psychiatric ward for 7 days. One of the rules was no music. However, one of the female CNAs brought her ipod and speaker and she gave it to me for half an hour. I put on I'm Not Okay, Helena, Famous Last Words and Welcome to the Black Parade, curled up in my shitty hospital room and cried with relief at finally, finally finally being able to reach out and have my band to comfort me in the grim silence where people would scream at night and sob during the day.

Knowing that Pete and Mikey both have bipolar helped me push through treatment for the last 9 months of long term treatment. They've been my heroes, reminding me that people like me can lives like that if they try.

When my foster sister killed herself in May, Welcome to the Black Parade and Helena helped me grieve for her, helped me scream and sob until I could think and feel and breathe again.

Through all of this I spent hours and hours on chat or twitter with bandom friends who held me up against the crushing weight of the struggles and fights I've faced this year.

I'm discharging from my treatment center in the next few weeks. I feel mostly whole. It wasnt all bandom but it'd be a fucking lie to say that the music and the people in bandom didnt save my life at least in part.

My life isn't a symptom anymore and I plan to keep running.

Thanks guys. I love you.
dancinbutterfly: (Killjoys - Wanted)
So, this is my third year bandom anniversary. It's not the exact day but back in 2009, the Monday after Comiccon I read my first MCR fanfic sitting at the Richard Walker Pancake House in San Diego California and my life started to change. It's the monday after ComicCon and once again, I'm in the Richard Walker Pancake House, taking stock of the year and listening to bandom.

You guys have no idea how big an impact this fandom had on me this year. The friends I made through this fandom held me up through some of the worst times of my life. The MCR and PATD concerts and the music. The music you guys.

In October, I ended up on a locked psychiatric ward for 7 days. One of the rules was no music. However, one of the female CNAs brought her ipod and speaker and she gave it to me for half an hour. I put on I'm Not Okay, Helena, Famous Last Words and Welcome to the Black Parade, curled up in my shitty hospital room and cried with relief at finally, finally finally being able to reach out and have my band to comfort me in the grim silence where people would scream at night and sob during the day.

Knowing that Pete and Mikey both have bipolar helped me push through treatment for the last 9 months of long term treatment. They've been my heroes, reminding me that people like me can lives like that if they try.

When my foster sister killed herself in May, Welcome to the Black Parade and Helena helped me grieve for her, helped me scream and sob until I could think and feel and breathe again.

Through all of this I spent hours and hours on chat or twitter with bandom friends who held me up against the crushing weight of the struggles and fights I've faced this year.

I'm discharging from my treatment center in the next few weeks. I feel mostly whole. It wasnt all bandom but it'd be a fucking lie to say that the music and the people in bandom didnt save my life at least in part.

My life isn't a symptom anymore and I plan to keep running.

Thanks guys. I love you.
dancinbutterfly: (Entourage - Victory)
HI! I SENT IN MY [livejournal.com profile] bandombigbang! It is NOT the Hunger Games AU. That isnt finished. That will either be wave 2 or 3 because it has a long way to go content wise and I want it ready. But. It's done. It's turned in. I can't believe I wrote it, to be honest. If you dont know I've written it? I dare you to guess which is mine when claiming goes live. If you know, shhh. Dont spoil. If you dont? Seriously. Guess. *flop* Whatever. It's sent in, long before the deadline. *blows on finger guns* Boom. I refuse to miss a BBB yall. Refuse.
dancinbutterfly: (Entourage - Victory)
HI! I SENT IN MY [livejournal.com profile] bandombigbang! It is NOT the Hunger Games AU. That isnt finished. That will either be wave 2 or 3 because it has a long way to go content wise and I want it ready. But. It's done. It's turned in. I can't believe I wrote it, to be honest. If you dont know I've written it? I dare you to guess which is mine when claiming goes live. If you know, shhh. Dont spoil. If you dont? Seriously. Guess. *flop* Whatever. It's sent in, long before the deadline. *blows on finger guns* Boom. I refuse to miss a BBB yall. Refuse.
dancinbutterfly: (Spartacus - Agron/Nasir)
There's some stuff going on - a lot of them good! YAY! Even the stuff that isnt so good is coupled with some good stuff. So, I'm going to talk about it all.

~So, tonight is the first night of Passover. YAY! Passover for me is like Christmas is for some Christians. It is my all time favorite holiday. For those of you have been on my Flist for years? You know that I go off the chain on this holiday. GUESTS! DINNERS! SINGING! PICTURES! Expect recaps, although this year will be much smaller, some of my friends from Skyland are coming on the 2nd night! Maybe [livejournal.com profile] ofangoriousone will come? Idk. But yay! Passover. That said, I'm avoiding going home because the prep is giving me anxiety. Thats the mental illness, which sucks. Still, I'll take that anxiety to enjoy my holiday. YAY!

~My mom went out of town over the week. She was gone until last night and the first three days she was gone? It was not great. But I spent a lot of time painting (I've started painting guys. It's kinda great. Acrylic paints=my new favorite thing) and that was both artistically satisfying and really helpful for my anxiety.

~I'm working more hours so if the car clusterfuck with the fines doesnt get resolved, I'll still get to get through it a little bit quicker than I thought. So that's something thank god.

~ Does anyone else watch South Park? Because WHAT THE FUCK! No seriously, what the actual fuck. )

~Lastly, yall, we need to have a talk about Spartacus: Vengeance. Did anyone else watch it? Because another thing I did this week was mainline it like it was heroin. Holy crap. I miss Andy Whitfield God rest him but this season? By far my favorite. It was like...okay. At some point, this show realized that Blood and Sand(s1) and Gods of the Arena(S2 and the prequel) were kinda rapey and that was not good. That didnt go away this season, probably never will, but this season was like "Hey, lets write a whole bunch of women who kick ass in various ways and give/take their own agency in whatever way works best for them." It was magnificent. I have no idea what happened in the writers room, because the show is still problematic in a LOT of ways but it went from an 8 on the feminism problematic scale to more like a 3 because it looked at its women and said "Hey, lets give them agency or deal with their PTSD/trauma/problems in ways that are respectful and the sort of choices that real women would make." Ugh, you guys it was glorious. Not only that? IT PASSED THE FREAKING BECHDEL TEST MOST EPS. WHAT EVEN.

Lets not even talk about Lucy Lawless: The Flawless. She was amazing the end. All the Romans were creeptastic awesome.

And then? There was the gay love story. *HANDS* You guys. There is exactly one "they meet and then they fall in love" love story this season and its between one of Spartacus' lieutenant's Agron and one of the freed male slaves Nasir. It's slow build. It begins in a friendship. It's romantic. It's done in a way that isnt self-congradulatory or blatant. Everyone in their sphere are just like "oh, hey, these two guys, who are our friends, are falling in love. That's nice." It's just a part of the universe, no attention is drawn to it except within the building of their relationship. It just is. Just like Naevia and Crixus just are. Just like every other heterosexual relationship just is. Ultraviolent, ultragraphic trashy show: doing gay love right. Oh, and did I mention how they are super hot for each other? They are. *points at icon* They are super hot, in general and for each other and occasionally they make out against walls. So yeah. If you're bored, check it out. I'm falling down the kink meme hole. Expect trashy, roman-flavored porn in this space in the future *facepalm*

~I still have to finish the Hunger Games/Bandom fusion to work on and there is a LOT of it. No, a lot. I'm at 27K and just got them down to the gym for day 1 of training(if you know the book, you know exactly where that is). So yeah, I do not need a new ship right now, especially not one with canon boykissing to fuel the fire of obsession. PLEASE SEND HELP! HELP!!
dancinbutterfly: (Spartacus - Agron/Nasir)
There's some stuff going on - a lot of them good! YAY! Even the stuff that isnt so good is coupled with some good stuff. So, I'm going to talk about it all.

~So, tonight is the first night of Passover. YAY! Passover for me is like Christmas is for some Christians. It is my all time favorite holiday. For those of you have been on my Flist for years? You know that I go off the chain on this holiday. GUESTS! DINNERS! SINGING! PICTURES! Expect recaps, although this year will be much smaller, some of my friends from Skyland are coming on the 2nd night! Maybe [livejournal.com profile] ofangoriousone will come? Idk. But yay! Passover. That said, I'm avoiding going home because the prep is giving me anxiety. Thats the mental illness, which sucks. Still, I'll take that anxiety to enjoy my holiday. YAY!

~My mom went out of town over the week. She was gone until last night and the first three days she was gone? It was not great. But I spent a lot of time painting (I've started painting guys. It's kinda great. Acrylic paints=my new favorite thing) and that was both artistically satisfying and really helpful for my anxiety.

~I'm working more hours so if the car clusterfuck with the fines doesnt get resolved, I'll still get to get through it a little bit quicker than I thought. So that's something thank god.

~ Does anyone else watch South Park? Because WHAT THE FUCK! No seriously, what the actual fuck. )

~Lastly, yall, we need to have a talk about Spartacus: Vengeance. Did anyone else watch it? Because another thing I did this week was mainline it like it was heroin. Holy crap. I miss Andy Whitfield God rest him but this season? By far my favorite. It was like...okay. At some point, this show realized that Blood and Sand(s1) and Gods of the Arena(S2 and the prequel) were kinda rapey and that was not good. That didnt go away this season, probably never will, but this season was like "Hey, lets write a whole bunch of women who kick ass in various ways and give/take their own agency in whatever way works best for them." It was magnificent. I have no idea what happened in the writers room, because the show is still problematic in a LOT of ways but it went from an 8 on the feminism problematic scale to more like a 3 because it looked at its women and said "Hey, lets give them agency or deal with their PTSD/trauma/problems in ways that are respectful and the sort of choices that real women would make." Ugh, you guys it was glorious. Not only that? IT PASSED THE FREAKING BECHDEL TEST MOST EPS. WHAT EVEN.

Lets not even talk about Lucy Lawless: The Flawless. She was amazing the end. All the Romans were creeptastic awesome.

And then? There was the gay love story. *HANDS* You guys. There is exactly one "they meet and then they fall in love" love story this season and its between one of Spartacus' lieutenant's Agron and one of the freed male slaves Nasir. It's slow build. It begins in a friendship. It's romantic. It's done in a way that isnt self-congradulatory or blatant. Everyone in their sphere are just like "oh, hey, these two guys, who are our friends, are falling in love. That's nice." It's just a part of the universe, no attention is drawn to it except within the building of their relationship. It just is. Just like Naevia and Crixus just are. Just like every other heterosexual relationship just is. Ultraviolent, ultragraphic trashy show: doing gay love right. Oh, and did I mention how they are super hot for each other? They are. *points at icon* They are super hot, in general and for each other and occasionally they make out against walls. So yeah. If you're bored, check it out. I'm falling down the kink meme hole. Expect trashy, roman-flavored porn in this space in the future *facepalm*

~I still have to finish the Hunger Games/Bandom fusion to work on and there is a LOT of it. No, a lot. I'm at 27K and just got them down to the gym for day 1 of training(if you know the book, you know exactly where that is). So yeah, I do not need a new ship right now, especially not one with canon boykissing to fuel the fire of obsession. PLEASE SEND HELP! HELP!!
dancinbutterfly: (FOB - Mikey/Pete)
Title: Soggy, Chapped, & Faded Yet Clawing Towards Daylight
Author: [livejournal.com profile] dancinbutterfly
Bands (and/or pairings): established Mikey/Pete, divorced Pete/Ashlee, mentions of Gerard/Lindsey, Frank/Jamia, Christa/Ray, and Gabe Saporta/being awesome
Rating: NC-17/R
Word count: ~26,200
Warnings: graphic description of cancer treatment(my apologies for any flaws in the specifics), use of marijuana by characters including a teenaged minor, cancer death of an original character
Author notes: So many people helped me I cant list them all. Countless people audience this but in particular thank yous to [livejournal.com profile] thirstingdragon for handholding and researching, [livejournal.com profile] ariadne83 for constant support, [livejournal.com profile] jhro for the last minute beta, and [livejournal.com profile] cold_clarity whose art was so beautiful that I knew from the moment I saw it exactly what I was going to do.
Summary: Pete's plans for his near future boiled down to constant negotiations for time with his son, trying to spend more time with his boyfriend, and getting the Black Cards on tour. Those plans change dramatically when irregularities show up in a routine check up required for tour insurance and throw his life into danger. Now Pete's world is a lot smaller and revolves around doctors, hospitals, and treatments that hurt more than the disease.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
dancinbutterfly: (FOB - Mikey/Pete)
Title: Soggy, Chapped, & Faded Yet Clawing Towards Daylight
Author: [livejournal.com profile] dancinbutterfly
Bands (and/or pairings): established Mikey/Pete, divorced Pete/Ashlee, mentions of Gerard/Lindsey, Frank/Jamia, Christa/Ray, and Gabe Saporta/being awesome
Rating: NC-17/R
Word count: ~26,200
Warnings: graphic description of cancer treatment(my apologies for any flaws in the specifics), use of marijuana by characters including a teenaged minor, cancer death of an original character
Author notes: So many people helped me I cant list them all. Countless people audience this but in particular thank yous to [livejournal.com profile] thirstingdragon for handholding and researching, [livejournal.com profile] ariadne83 for constant support, [livejournal.com profile] jhro for the last minute beta, and [livejournal.com profile] cold_clarity whose art was so beautiful that I knew from the moment I saw it exactly what I was going to do.
Summary: Pete's plans for his near future boiled down to constant negotiations for time with his son, trying to spend more time with his boyfriend, and getting the Black Cards on tour. Those plans change dramatically when irregularities show up in a routine check up required for tour insurance and throw his life into danger. Now Pete's world is a lot smaller and revolves around doctors, hospitals, and treatments that hurt more than the disease.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

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